


Smiling Fights the Lonely Monster

by eternalmyg



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: i havent written a fic in like 5 years, sad boy :(, taako is lonely, this is so bad im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 19:26:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16248263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalmyg/pseuds/eternalmyg
Summary: Taako doesn’t know why the empty hole in his chest is always there. He doesn’t know why he constantly feels as if a major part of him has been ripped out of him, or why parts of his childhood, parts that seem so, so important are fuzzy. He doesn’t know why he has never felt complete, all he knows is that he’s Taako from TV and he has an image to uphold. And so Taako smiles.





	Smiling Fights the Lonely Monster

**Author's Note:**

> aye!!! sorry this is so short itsmy first fanfic since like 7th grade and my first taz fic??? pls be nice adjksals also im not good at writing im so sorry for This. i got the title from this list of like prompts?? theres over 1000 and its like p fucking cool ( http://www.asofterworld.com/archive.php )
> 
> (also this was hell to write bc i can never fucking write the word loneliness right and its in here like 300 times)
> 
> -tea

Taako doesn’t know why the empty hole in his chest is always there. He doesn’t know why he constantly feels as if a major part of him has been ripped out of him, or why parts of his childhood, parts that seem so, so important are fuzzy. He doesn’t know why he has never felt complete, all he knows is that he’s Taako from TV and he has an image to uphold. And so Taako smiles.

He smiles bright and strong. He dazzles the people everywhere he goes, he gets used to people falling in love with him at first glance. He gets used to smiling to try and get rid of his loneliness. Taako isn’t used to people being in his life He isn’t used to people getting to know him deeply, getting to know when his smile is fake and when it’s real. He isn’t used to being questioned when his brilliant smile doesn’t quite reach his dazzling eyes.

It’s Magnus who notices first (or maybe he’s just the first to have the courage to bring it up), “Taako, what’s going on, what’s eatin’ ya?”

“Nothin’ dude, cha’boy is all good!” The lie is said with the same bright smile as always and finger guns (because he’s gay and tired why else).

“I guess you just seem more down than is the yoozh” That takes Taako by surprise. He knows his loneliness is much more present this time of year, something about the cooler air just makes him feel _so fucking wrong_.

“Oh, uhh it’s not really important my man. Just feeling… lonely I guess.”

Magnus looks a little confused, “Well, if you ever need someone to be around, Mango’s got ya.”

Taako gives him a genuine smile, “Thanks bud, but its not really that kinda loneliness.”

Those words caused even more confusion in Magnus, “What kind of loneliness is it then?”

 _What kind of loneliness is it then?_ “I don’t really know,” Taako thinks about his next words carefully, “I guess it’s just, like, deeper ya know? I’ve always just felt this deep loneliness, the kinda loneliness that’s just always there and feels like part of my soul has just been ripped out of me. There’s this gaping hole in my chest that, no matter how fucking hard I try, is always there. I could surround myself with people 24/7 and it feels like theres just one person missing, one fucking important person. And I just don't know who it is or if they even fucking exist!" By the end of his outburst, Taako was raising his voice and panting a bit. He felt bad for letting all of that out on Magnus, but holy shit did it feel good to let out. "Sorry Mags, that was pretty heavy."

"It's okay my man. But can i tell you something? That sounds a lot like how I felt for awhile after I lost my wife. I felt like there was this gaping hole in my heart and only she could fill it. It only got better when i busied myself with shit to do daily, whether it was training or looking for odd jobs here and there."

The elf took a deep breath in, what Magnus said made sense, but there was only one problem, "I haven't lost anyone important to me though."


End file.
